The @GSElevator guide to flying

Wonderfully written and hilarious (as always). The highlights include:

  • Don’t fly an airline where your checked bags might cost more than your seat.
  • If they have Wi-Fi, don’t use it. You’ll end up doing exactly what you do at your desk. Watch a movie. Read a book.Tune out and shut off.
  • Be nice to the stewardess; she got drunk and passed out at the Midway Hotel in Newark last night.
  • Take advantage of the #1 rule of air travel: no matter what time it is, it’s always acceptable to drink.
  • Unless it’s to a remote island, the word “Connection” should not appear on your itinerary.
  • Never drive yourself to the airport when your flight is over two hours. Odds are, you’ll be getting off the return flight smashed.
  • When you squeeze by me, don’t give me “the ass” or “the crouch”; just don’t get up. If you must, allow me time to move into the aisle to make way for you.
  • Louis Vuitton in Economy class. No matter how you look at it, your priorities are screwed up.
  • Spare change should never be the reason for holding up the security line.

Read the full article here


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